Happiness Is

Drinkers believe that using alcohol makes you happy, but I believe the reality is it makes you unhappy. 

How do you know if you're happy or unhappy? It sounds like a ridiculous question. If you're happy, you must know it, right? And if you're unhappy, you must know that as well. But my own experience with alcohol, and what I see in those who drink, leads me to the conclusion that alcohol does exactly the opposite of what we think it does.

You can think you're one thing and actually be something else. You may think you're smart and actually be not so smart, for example. Studies show that many people think they're taller, shorter, thinner, fatter, nicer, meaner, or either more or less attractive than other people would describe them. It's our nature that we just don't know ourselves very well. 

And if you drink, your ability to know yourself is further impaired because alcohol exaggerates the normal tendency to misjudge yourself. So it should not be surprising if in fact drinkers think they're happy when they're not.

"Happiness Is" is the title of a documentary by director Andrew Shapter about "the pursuit of happiness" in America. He finds that happiness comes from "connections and service to others". It follows that a mother and child must be the epitome of happiness, at least so long as the child is safe and healthy. The rest of us are happy to the extent we also have loved ones to care for. After spending most of a lifetime chasing happiness in all the wrong ways, this simple truth astonishes me.

Try this experiment. Search Google for "images of mother and child" and look at those pictures to see what happiness looks like. Then look at photos of yourself, and ask, do I look happy? If you're a drinker, I believe the answer will probably be no.

Alcohol tends to make you self-centered and damages your relationships. When you drink, your focus becomes more selfish and your capacity to give and receive love is impaired. The result is a lonely ride on the carousel of self-indulgence.

If you're on that carousel, probably you're a drinker. All those colored ponies look a lot more wonderful through an alcohol haze. The only thing drinking does is soothe the pain you feel from having sold your happiness for a few laps to nowhere.

Know if you're happy or not. If not, find out why. If you drink, that's probably the reason.